Tuesday, March 27, 2012


Many changes in life are hard to swallow. Recently, I moved my parents into nursing facilities. I had to wade through their possessions and discard, keep, store, etc etc etc. It affected me more than I ever would have believed possible. I pulled out their set of pots and pans, stuff that I had seen daily for my entire childhood. The ferocity with which those damn pans brought me back in time to the black vinyl chairs and round table in the kitchen of my childhood was breathtaking. I remember my mom would cut all my steak for me, because I claimed I would throw up if there was any sign of fat on it. I remember sitting at the table because I couldn't leave until I finished my peas (did you know that if you squash them up, it doesn't make them appear to be less!). So cliche, mentioning not being able to leave the table until you were done. Nonetheless, it's true. I miss all of those small moments of childhood. Those damn pans make me sad.

I heard today that a friend, a former co-worker had passed away. This was not someone I hung out with outside of work. Even at work, we had our disagreements. No matter, every incident like this has really made me pause lately.

I turned forty last fall. Maybe that's it... maybe this is what mid life crisis is... missing those little things and grasping to get them back. I never thought I would have these kind of issues, but I really miss being a kid sometimes. I hope my three read this and learn to really soak up all the little stuff.

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