Mid-life

Many changes in life are hard to swallow. Recently, I moved my parents into nursing facilities. I had to wade through their possessions and discard, keep, store, etc etc etc. It affected me more than I ever would have believed possible. I pulled out their set of pots and pans, stuff that I had seen daily for my entire childhood. The ferocity with which those damn pans brought me back in time to the black vinyl chairs and round table in the kitchen of my childhood was breathtaking. I remember my mom would cut all my steak for me, because I claimed I would throw up if there was any sign of fat on it. I remember sitting at the table because I couldn't leave until I finished my peas (did you know that if you squash them up, it doesn't make them appear to be less!). So cliche, mentioning not being able to leave the table until you were done. Nonetheless, it's true. I miss all of those small moments of childhood. Those damn pans make me sad.

I heard today that a friend, a former co-worker had passed away. This was not someone I hung out with outside of work. Even at work, we had our disagreements. No matter, every incident like this has really made me pause lately.

I turned forty last fall. Maybe that's it... maybe this is what mid life crisis is... missing those little things and grasping to get them back. I never thought I would have these kind of issues, but I really miss being a kid sometimes. I hope my three read this and learn to really soak up all the little stuff.

Coming Soon... time wasted

I am getting close to releasing my first book, The Fossegrimen Folly. I am excited, yet I am steeling myself to face critics. I mean, that's their job... right? I keep telling myself that criticism will make my writing better but the more reviews I read of other peoples work, I start to wonder how one sifts through the crappy angst filled reviews to find those gems that actually strive to make legit suggestions. Obviously the internet has changed the world, for better and worse. The 'worse' portion, for me, is that I spend too much time now sifting through and rejecting information I either don't believe or just don't want. Thus I am worried that reviews of my book are just going to suck up more valuable time. Maybe I just skip 'em....

"Lost time is never found again" - Benjamin Franklin

Lightbulb Moments

3/7/12

Have you ever had one of those lightbulb-comes-on-moments where something from your childhood clicks and makes sense? I remember the moment I understood the saying "sew buttons on your underwear." As a young child, my standard response to anything and everything was always, "so what?" To which I continually received the response "sew buttons on your underwear." No one would explain it, and I wasn't the type to ask. I just accepted and moved on. It wasn't until I was in my teens that I had that lightbulb moment, and understood.

I love those unexpected moments, whether it's remembering where you have seen someone before, solving a longstanding mystery, or something finally making sense. Those are the times we tap into that potential our brain has.

St. Patrick's Rune

The first fantasy book I ever read was A Swiftly Tilting Planet, by Madeline L'Engle. My reading up until this point consisted of The Hardy Boys series, which I still credit for my love of reading. Nonetheless, Frank and Joe Hardy were pretty vanilla to say the least. A Swiftly Tilting Planet mesmerized me and really opened that door to how imaginative fiction could be. I still think about St. Patrick's Rune, which plays a part in the book. It's wonderful, and if I make any money from YA fantasy series I am writing, Camp Lac Igam (coming soon), I will get this poem tattooed on my arm. Here it is:

St. Patrick's Rune

At Tara in this fateful hour,
I place all Heaven with its power,
And the sun with its brightness,
And the snow with its whiteness,
And the fire with all the strength it hath,
And the lightning with its rapid wrath,
And the wind with its swiftness along its path,
And the sea with its deepness,
And the rocks with their steepness,
And the Earth with its starkness
All these I place
By God's almighty help and grace
Between myself and the powers of darkness